Motherhood is not a competition

Today is my birthday

I'm 44 years old. 

And I'm kinda feeling it this year (big grin)

I've been employed in the best job in the world

motherhood, for almost 19 years

And you would think that by now

 I would understand that my own experience as a mom is unique.

My children are each unique. 

Four beautifully and perfectly made kids. 

Each with their own strengths and weaknesses.

And yet, from time to time, in the small free moments of the day

I cannot help but begin to compare myself to others

Or I start to think about why can't my child be just a little more "x", like hers?

Or why can't I be less anxious, like she is always so calm

Or maybe if I went to the gym more, I'd have more energy like her

And I forget

That motherhood is not a competition or a series of comparisons

It's a unique experience

One that I never thought would turn out like it has

Never. Thought.

And for all the times that I started to compare myself or my kids to someone else

I now realize are little lost moments

So I'm thinking for the next 44 years, by the grace of God

motherhood will be absolutely savored

for whatever it is

the joy, the grief, the friendships with other moms, the parenting of my four

because it's all mine

and I need all those little moments.