Feeding Tommy

We have been trying to get Tommy to drink a bottle by mouth. Last week while we were at Children's hospital the OT there started him on a sippy cup. This week we have met with our therapists here and we are trying the haberman feeder. Each day we spend approximately 20 minutes every three hours working with Tommy in a happy and supportive way on trying to accept the haberman feeder. He usually takes 10-20 cc by mouth and the remaining 115 cc we pump into his ng tube.

While all this seems like a reasonable routine and accomodation for Tommy's needs, there is something so emotional for myself about not being able to feed my baby. These efforts coupled with an assessment of his cognitive, motor and social development that ranked him at a 60% delay seemed to overwhelm this momma this week. I cried for hours. Every day. Still cannot adequately state how emotional this is to me. I can remember in preparation for heart surgery, Tommy couldn't have his feedings for almost 10 hours prior to surgery. He was hungry. He cried. Even if I wanted to I couldn't feed him because his ng tube wasn't there and he doesn't take a bottle. As his mommy I feel the need to solve the problem and am now realizing the overwhelming challenges in that problem.

Our daily routine continues with trying the haberman feeder every three hours and pureed foods on a spoon twice a day. Tommy will eat when he is ready and with gentle prodding. Tommy loves to 'growl' when he has had enough gentle prodding. That is the sign for mommy and daddy to start the feeding pump.

I welcome advice (especially from DS or Hirschprung parents).