Frequently asked question....

Since it is “31 for 21” month amongst the blogging world that parents kids with Down Syndrome. I thought I should post about the most common question that Colin and I are asked, “Did we know Tommy was going to have DS?”.

Let’s start at the beginning as our pregnancy started with a four year conversation. Yes, four years. See, my daughter Hannah is 13 and my son Nathan is 12 and they are from my first marriage. I remarried. My wonderful and patient husband Colin. And I could remember a conversation even when we first dated in 2000, “Do you want to have more kids” he would ask. And I know that question should have a ‘yes/no’ answer. But for us, (or was it me), it was a four year conversation.

Of course you have read the last chapter and know that we decided to add more children to our marriage and were blessed with our twin boys on 12/12/2006. The middle part of our conversation is equally important because those years were in appreciation of our maturity and the possibility for genetic or chromosomal abnormalities. We ended all of those conversations with ‘yes’. Yes, we thought, we could parent a child that wasn’t a typical child. Little did we realize that Tommy would have both a genetic disorder and Down Syndrome. Little did we realize that within days of his birth would we fall in love with him and feel that he is perfect.

So, “Did we know our baby had DS before birth?” yes and no. Although we refused the amniocentisis, there was an ultrasound for the nuchal fold transparency that came back suggesting (that coupled with our advanced ages) we had a 1 out of 2 chance of Tommy having DS.

But the more important question that should be asked is “Have we always wanted him?” absolutely. Always.